I am a ref, but I'm not clever enough to come up with Carley's kind of response off the cuff...I tend to take what I have now dubbed the "stroudos-lite" approach: I'd tell him that I made the call, and should he choose to challenge like that again I would penalize him. With the guys I have the pleasure of refereeing, that's usually enough but the few times that someone continues to argue, I go "full-stroudos". I have no qualms following through on a promise to penalize!
Except Ford didn't "ask" the ref anything - He went up and told the ref "my hands were there". A proper, respectful way of asking would start with an apology for flailing his arms around and reacting poorly to a call, then be followed up with something with containing a question mark and a please, eg: "Sorry sir, I got frustrated. Could you please let me know why you ruled that pass forward? I thought I had released it backwards". »