ADVERTISEMENT

Foster stages assault on World Rugby headquarters

BY Jack Tunney  ·  Saturday Aug 6, 2022

Following New Zealand’s loss to South Africa in the opening game of their Rugby Championship, Ian Foster has attempted to take control of the World Rugby governing body in an effort to keep hold of the All Blacks world stature.

ADVERTISEMENT

With rumours circulating that there could very well be a further drop in the world rankings for the men in black, Foster has had no choice but to go and stop it at the source. Armed with Ardie Savea at the rear, and his two brand spanking new assistants at his side, Foster has forced his way into the headquarters.

Rudely ignoring the polite welcoming by the building receptionist, Foster stormed straight through, pressing floor number 65 on the elevator. Straight to the top went the team of determined All Blacks.

Foster could be forgiven for his expectations that the chief executive, the top dog, the ruler, would be hailing from the skies. In actual fact, he had missed the correct floor by all of 38 levels and had actually landed amongst the bewildered finance department.

Undeterred by leading the attack the wrong way (not for the first time), Foster has taken ahold of a very confused and quite frankly bewildered accounts division in what will no doubt become known as ‘doing a Foster’ for many moons to come.

Foster has made his demands clear, give New Zealand the number 1 spot back, give them the 2023 World Cup trophy, and to take back his P45.

Rumour has it Rassie Erasmus is currently underway recording a 5-hour video on why the All Blacks cheated their way to the 1987 World Cup victory, currently titled ‘Rassie makes it about Rassie, again’.

ADVERTISEMENT

This situation is still live, more to follow.

*Obviously satire, Foster would never put in so much effort.

Related Articles

  • 19 WEEKS AGO

    World Cup winner to return after year long...

  • 20 WEEKS AGO

    Rugby league golden boot star set for huge...

  • 35 WEEKS AGO

    Hurricanes miss the memo as New Zealand clubs...



ADVERTISEMENT

Great Tries

  • 2 WEEKS AGO

    Bordeaux prop scores the ultimate front row try in the Top 14

  • 2 WEEKS AGO

    Northampton Saints youngster George Hendy seals the Premiership title

  • 3 WEEKS AGO

    Springbok centre tears it up in the Top 14 for a crucial hattrick

  • 3 WEEKS AGO

    English winger leaves defenders in his dust for long range score in Top 14

  • 11 WEEKS AGO

    Five of the best tries from the Investec Champions Cup

View All

Big Hits & Dirty Play

  • 3 DAYS AGO

    England enforcer's tour could be over following red card vs Japan

  • 6 DAYS AGO

    Pitch invader melted in thunderous tackle

  • 2 WEEKS AGO

    WATCH: Bath's Beno Obano shown red in the Premiership final

  • 2 WEEKS AGO

    World Player of the Year BANNED heading into Paris Olympics following horror challenge during Madrid SVNS

  • 3 WEEKS AGO

    Debate surrounding ludicrous rugby league tackle leaves union fans baffled

View All

See It To Believe It

  • 1 DAY AGO

    Highlights: Barbarians and Fiji display the exact nature of what rugby should be

  • 3 DAYS AGO

    Japanese lock pulls off moment of brilliance to create first try against England

  • 6 DAYS AGO

    Pitch invader melted in thunderous tackle

  • 2 WEEKS AGO

    Leinster prospect pulls off outlandish footballing skills in URC quarterfinal

  • 8 WEEKS AGO

    Danny care binned for high tackle on Courtney Lawes

View All

Funnies

  • 6 HOURS AGO

    Rugby brotherhood on full display between three South African Rugby legends

  • 2 WEEKS AGO

    Former French star's 'tackle of the season attempt' goes viral

  • 3 WEEKS AGO

    WATCH: Hilarious interaction between Simon Zebo and journalist

  • 7 WEEKS AGO

    Nick David unexpectedly shows up to semi final in full kit

  • 9 WEEKS AGO

    WATCH: The worst camera angle in rugby history

View All

Amateur

  • 76 WEEKS AGO

    You Won’t See Many Better Than This Silky-Smooth Try From Llandovery RFC

  • 76 WEEKS AGO

    Incredible Scenes As Caldy RFC Hand Ealing First Championship Defeat Of The Season

  • 99 WEEKS AGO

    Dubious Score Decides Result Of Rugby's Biggest Schools Fixture

  • 99 WEEKS AGO

    Incredible Scenes At School Boys Rugby Match

  • 100 WEEKS AGO

    The Next Dominant Backrow?

View All

Player Features

  • 6 HOURS AGO

    'The nicest man in rugby' to exit Bath Rugby

  • 8 HOURS AGO

    Virimi Vakatawa to exit Bristol

  • 1 DAY AGO

    Ardie Savea scores a brace as local club benefits from world class talent

  • 1 DAY AGO

    Toulon bizarrely omit Kyle Sinkler's Bristol clips in signing video

  • 3 DAYS AGO

    The three standout players that drove England’s victory over Japan

View All