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Saturday Aug 6, 2022

Foster stages assault on World Rugby headquarters

Following New Zealand’s loss to South Africa in the opening game of their Rugby Championship, Ian Foster has attempted to take control of the World Rugby governing body in an effort to keep hold of the All Blacks world stature.

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With rumours circulating that there could very well be a further drop in the world rankings for the men in black, Foster has had no choice but to go and stop it at the source. Armed with Ardie Savea at the rear, and his two brand spanking new assistants at his side, Foster has forced his way into the headquarters.

Rudely ignoring the polite welcoming by the building receptionist, Foster stormed straight through, pressing floor number 65 on the elevator. Straight to the top went the team of determined All Blacks.

Foster could be forgiven for his expectations that the chief executive, the top dog, the ruler, would be hailing from the skies. In actual fact, he had missed the correct floor by all of 38 levels and had actually landed amongst the bewildered finance department.

Undeterred by leading the attack the wrong way (not for the first time), Foster has taken ahold of a very confused and quite frankly bewildered accounts division in what will no doubt become known as ‘doing a Foster’ for many moons to come.

Foster has made his demands clear, give New Zealand the number 1 spot back, give them the 2023 World Cup trophy, and to take back his P45.

Rumour has it Rassie Erasmus is currently underway recording a 5-hour video on why the All Blacks cheated their way to the 1987 World Cup victory, currently titled ‘Rassie makes it about Rassie, again’.

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This situation is still live, more to follow.

*Obviously satire, Foster would never put in so much effort.

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