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Saturday Aug 13, 2022

Root Of All Blacks Issues Pinpointed

New Zealand’s mighty All Blacks are rightly regarded as one of the biggest sporting brands in the world.

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The three-time World Champions have been a mainstay at the top of the World rankings since they came into existence in 2003.

Now experiencing a dip in form by their own high standards, the All Blacks have been searching for answers ahead of their second clash with current World Champions the Springboks.

Having lost a home series to Ireland and the opening test in South Africa already this season, head coach Ian Foster and his side have their backs to the wall.

No doubt there have been many hard conversations about where it has been going wrong.

Many experts have speculated that it could be the All-Blacks lack of adaption to the new rules or perhaps their tactics that have let them down.

Putting to waste these many hours of soul searching it has been confirmed that the route of their issues has been from an external force which they cannot control.

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In a tell all interview, local Wairarapa legend Shaun Pollard has FINALLY taken responsibility for the downfall of New Zealand Rugby.

It all started one week prior to the All-Blacks shocking semi-final loss to England at the 2019 Rugby World Cup in Japan.

Pollard as ever was confident his mighty All-Blacks would lay waste to the soft Red Roses as they had done many a time.

It was this confidence that compelled him to head to his local tattoo parlour to add to his New Zealand Rugby World Champions tattoo.

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The famous victories of 1987, 2011 & 2015 were displayed proudly on Pollard’s calf and were simply awaiting the formality of adding their 2019 brother.

As the tattoo pen pierced Pollard’s skin, the infamous rugby curse known simply as the “Campese” was once again placed on the All-Blacks.

Pollard’s moment of weakness set in motion a curse that the great Sir Graham Henry, Richie McCaw and Dan Carter had worked so tirelessly to remove.

In a similar vein to Frodo in the famous Lord Of The Rings movie series, Henry, McCaw and Carter took the drastic measure of throwing Wallabies legend David Campese into the Whakaari volcano.

This action had removed the “Campese” curse and thus paved the way for New Zealand’s back-to-back world cup triumphs in 2011 & 2015.

Pollard of course could not have known that his pre-emptive move would have such wide reach affects.

Once it had been made clear to him that the All-Blacks troubles lay squarely at his feet, Pollard had no choice but to take drastic action……

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