As the old saying goes, ‘Rugby matches are won up front’; of course, this saying was clearly made popular by a front rower and most likely a prop years ago, and we have all just accepted the fact.
For all of their brilliance on the rugby pitch, props are strange creatures who, let’s face it, should be left to carry out their business without the snarky comments of the frizzy players wearing numbers 4 – 15.
Examining these interesting creatures closely, comedian John Lebbon sat down with a prop to get an insight into exactly what goes through these mythical beasts’ minds when on the rugby pitch.
Starting with a simple question, Lebbon asks his guest, “What are your three priorities?”
Replying immediately with the concise clarity we have come to expect from rugby’s field generals, the prop said, “Run hard, tackle hard and try not to get diabetes”.
Delving deeper, Lebbon questions his guest on just what it takes to get ready for a big match, to which the burly powerhouse responds, “First stop, Greggs, I’ll spend £36 in there. Second stop, I’ll use the only toilet in the changing rooms, and I’ll leave carnage so it’s practically unusable.”
Now clearly in awe as everyone should be, Lebbon responded by simply saying, “Outstanding” before asking, “If you barge over for a try near the line, how far do you describe to people who weren’t there?”
Replying thoughtfully, the fine specimen said, “50 meters out, beat 7 or 8 men, pace, power, personified.”
Now clearly in the palm of his guest’s giant hands, Lebbon dared to delve deeper into his guest’s mind by posing another potential set of scenarios, “In a 2 v 1 situation and a certain try if you pass, what do you do?”
Responding without even a hint of doubt, the prop said, “I take contact and then blame the winger for not shouting loud enough.”
Coming clean with his admiration for his guest, Lebbon said, “I am a bit blown away”, before posing one final question that really we all had at the forefront of our minds, “What do you drink after the match?”
“Beer, a yard of beer, the boot of beer, a jug of beer, you name it, I’ll drink them all; I’ll only stop when I need my stomach pumped.” The prop responded.
What this interaction reminded us all of is that, really, this is a prop’s world, and we are all lucky to be living in it.
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